Perhaps There's More to Life?

RANT

I am sitting here. On the left of my screen a Boards of Canada video plays Dayvan Cowboy, and on the right is another script and trusty old facebook. I didn't really have much to write down today. "Perhaps" some things need to be figured out before they are written down. 

Looking around at friends and family, it seems I have taken a path that really seems to have no specific end. It has sort of meandered from one experience to the next. Now, still sitting, I ponder what is next. The formula has now changed. I have to consider my daughter in these decisions. At this age, (nearing 40), I think that I must be wired differently. So, do I try to gain some normalcy in my life?

I like things that may seem absurd to others. I have the unfortunate ability to make a joke out of anything. I don't think I do these things in a malicious manner and I usually don't actually go forth with many of the things that pop in my head, but. The music I listen to is different and sometimes annoying. The books I read are not self-help nor are they philosophical. The things that make me go hmmm are plenty. I like to ask questions, but I usually ask myself and find my own answer. My patience is limited when people ask me to do things for them that they can do themselves. Fucking Google it! Ahem, excuse me. Sometimes my inner monologue becomes an outy.

So, where was I going with this? Ah yes, conformity. I view all these people in my life that have stable lives, secure jobs, steady income, vacations, etc. Am I one of those people? No. I would love to be, but for some reason, I like to tell stories. Now, the question is, do I tell stories? I have had a lot of jobs over the years and I have experienced things many people will never experience. I have travelled and lived in other countries. When I go for a job interview, this is what I bring to the table. Not a long work history with one company. Nor do I exhibit a proficiency in anything in particular. I know a little about a lot it seems. To some extent that is true. So here I go. 

This meandering experience that has been my life is exactly what I bring to the table. There are countless characters and situations that I have been in. I have had several substandard albeit interesting jobs. Not to mention the relationships with family and friends. So, with this arsenal of content I choose the profession of screenwriter. It is the ideal profession for someone such as myself.

Screenwriting allows me to tell stories. It's simple really. I create characters, a setting, some conflict and viola, a feature film. Well, it's not quite that simple, but it is a lot of fun. Screenwriting allows me to reach into any being I want to communicate with. Maybe I could create a character who is very philosophical and loves to tell stories which reveal life lessons of morality or suggesting we are more than what we are capable of comprehending or a character who is really good at impersonations, but gets himself in a pickle when his impersonations go too far. I don't know and it doesn't matter. There are a plethora of stories to be told and people want them. Who doesn't own a TV and a DVD player, at least?

I honestly feel that my experience has led me here. Even my degree is in Screenwriting so it limits things. In a sense I have put my back up against the wall. After I got out of the military I did a little business work and it made me ill. I did not take a job that would have been good money because I couldn't imagine being away from my girl for 50-60 hours a week. Maybe I won't have many cool things and maybe I won't have as many vacations, but I can't do it any other way. I work from home to make ends meet and I work from home to pursue my dream. I get to spend a lot of time with my girl and she will always know that you should follow your heart. Unless you got a bum ticka!

With the ability to explore my creativity combined with the power of not having to worry too much about proper grammar (run on sentence) I am empowered to tell story in a profound way. And if I could tell a story that would cause someone to think and feel an emotion (other than, "this films a POS") then that would be a dream. So, with that being said, I am going to run along after this dream. There may not be riches or glory, but in the end I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I was in the arena.

Perhaps

/RANT