Be Nice!

Kamloops Mural - Dean Lauze

Be Nice, it's good for you and everyone else.

In a general manner of speaking, kindness is enhancing a life without conflict. There are many ways to be kind, it's really easy. You can accomplish this by holding doors open for people. I suggest avoiding the eternal line. You know, the one where you hold the door open and then out of the blue there's a freaking line full of people. By the third person, you are absolutely done with "Hello" and "You're Welcome", you just want a way to get out, but you can't because it's Seniors day at The IHOP and you picked the wrong day to be kind. It's all about timing. That comes with practice. Seriously, kindness can be the thing that makes or breaks someone's day. It may truly be the difference between life or death and it's really so easy to do. It is within us all.

If you have time to watch TV, no matter what is on, you have time to be kind, to give of yourself to add something to someone else's day. Maybe it's a subtle tech message letting someone know you are thinking about them. It's understandable that nobody has the time to be "kind" to everyone, everyday. So why not just one person each day? Don't wait for someone to engage you, but engage them and compliment something about them. Calling up and saying "hello, whatya doin?" is not kindness. That's filler for "I have no idea what to say". Why do you like that person? What are they doing in their life that may cause stress and what could you say to add a little cheer? If you can't take time away from your TV routine to do something outside of yourself, or whatever obsession you have (Video Games, Texting, Facebooking, Daydreaming) then you may need to reevaluate your situation. I am thinking if that’s the case, then Diabetes is likely knocking on the door if it hasn't already moved in. Wasting someone's time with drivel commentary about the mundane is not enriching. If anyone cares about what's on TV, they can Google it. People can pretty much Google anything now so keep the conversation on a personal level.

Unfortunately this needs to be said. We don't know what is going on within other people. They may have a cheery exterior, but inside they could be on the brink. What is it to say, "Hello."? It's acknowledging that person is there! Alive! A Human being. Think about if that person is homeless and has become numb to the fact that they are basically disregarded…period. People tune it out. The smell, the tattered clothes, you know, the bum look, and most of us become numb. These are human beings who may just want to be acknowledged. Of course they want some $$ but don’t confuse my rendering of a homeless person to someone who chooses it as a panhandling career. I am talking, homeless people with mental conditions and addiction problems, but at one point they were referred to as "Son, Dad, Brother, Father, Sister, Mother, Aunt, Uncle, Gramma, Grandpa" and now they are all just called homeless. It's sad, why can't we be kind? People have become so unskilled at communicating. In our schools we teach reading, writing, math, science, physical education, and all that other stuff, but do we really teach about human interaction? No, we teach about consequences but not enough about empathy.

Of course kindness expands beyond humans but it really is a connection with everything. The Earth and all its inhabitants deserve our kindness which can be communicated by just being responsible and respectful of our planet. It's not like there is another one to go to at this time. We need to cherish this place we live on and all that it gives to us. EVERYTHING is from the Earth and Sun. It doesn't matter if you are religious or science based in your imaginings of the beginning, the fact is, we get EVERYTHING from this Earth and our Sun. In spite of how science has manipulated our food and water, it still is all derived from the Earth. There is no need to become rudimentary and break it all down because if you think stuff is just made out of thin air then this commentary is not for you. Our relationship with everything around us is profound and we can make that necessary bond even closer if we give more of ourselves to an understanding that kindness can bring a peaceful environment.

Are wars started with kindness? Are people stripped of their life savings by Bernie Madoff's because of kindness? Are people starving on the streets of America and in other parts of the world because of kindness? No, because the opposite of kindness is greed, narcissism, and basically just ego. There is concern only for self and that juvenile way of thinking prevents empathy from flourishing. That way of thinking offers rewards that are temporary and short lasting. It is natural to be kind (for most), but we are products of our environments and susceptible to the male and media gaze. In our society kindness is "Extreme Makeover" and it has an experience that is real, but it's really not within because it was observed. An observed kindness is powerful within, but it is not lasting. We all need to participate, so call up Ty and say, "I'm in!". Think of kindness as cuddling with your new born. Imagine you love that baby so much, but you never once held it. You felt your "thinking" of holding it was enough. And you never talked to it but you had a lot of conversations in your mind. How do you think that type of kindness would work out? It needs to be something that you "DO". You need to be active. I need to be active. We all need to be active.

It may seem that this commentary slights towards the negative and it does. Regardless of your background, there is always a counter to everything. Good and Bad. To embrace the good we have to acknowledge that the other exists or it's just speculation. In fact, it is good, sometimes, to experience the other to gain a more in depth perspective of the opposite side. Know your enemy. The important thing, no matter what your upbringing may be, is that we live with consequences. Some believe they are eternal while others believe it is in the moment. No matter, kindness is always a constant throughout and it spreads much faster than the alternative because it's human to be kind and it's a lasting feeling that makes us better inside and out.

Kindness comes in so many forms. Perhaps for you it's adopting a child, a pet, or  a Senior but either way, it will do your soul well. Maybe you volunteer, that's a great way to give and be kind…don't volunteer if you don't want to though, that's not good for anyone. If you don't want to volunteer maybe get a meal to someone who needs a meal. And if that is too much to ask at this time, how about starting with a smile, while you hold the door open for one person. It's a start.