Why Porn is Like Pizza
I enjoy watching porn and for the women in my life (which have
been few) I have never degraded them nor has our love making been anything
other than what love making should be. An intimate experience between two
people who care for each other in a respectful and enjoyable manner. I hear
society condemn anyone who watches porn yet champion men who go from woman to
woman in their desire to feed an insatiable sexual appetite or who have used
porn to increase their celebrity. I have a large sexual appetite but I do not
take action on it with meaningless relationships, instead I have used porn to
assist in releasing that sexual energy.
Porn comes in many shapes, sizes and categories. To condemn
a person for liking porn is like generalizing pizza. I like pizza but it would
be unfair for anyone to say that I like ALL pizza. There is a small percentage
of pizzas that I enjoy among the thousands of combinations which could be
created. I am a two topping type of person and I prefer Pepperoni and sometimes
Green Peppers. I used to love Ham and Pineapple but give me pepperoni or give
me death! It's the same with porn. I enjoy watching two attractive people
making love (albeit it acting) where the moment is respectful intimacy. Yet,
because I go to a site that has 99 toppings and I only want two, I am chastised
for something I have only ever done in private.
The truth is a large majority of society enjoys porn but
they enjoy it in ways that conceal its reality. For instance, look at "50
Shades of Grey" (Taylor-Johnson, 2015) a soft porn movie
made for the silver screen depicting a young handsome billionaire and a naïve virgin
who explore the world of S&M. The movie has been the top grossing movie of
2015 so far with sales of over $160 million! (Box Office Mojo, 2015) Of course being that
this is a movie shown all over, there is the absence of penetration, but it is
soft porn none the less. Yet because of the way this movie, and book, are
packaged the term porn doesn't seem to apply to it. But it is still porn and
has been dubbed as "Mommy Porn".
It would be ridiculous for me to argue that porn does not
have some serious drawbacks. There is material out there that I find atrocious
such as: bestiality, fisting, orgies, rough sex, public humiliation, S&M,
necrophilia, and the list goes on. All of those descriptions are the mushrooms
on my pizza. I detest mushrooms because of their foul stench, slimy texture,
and atrocious flavor. I absolutely don't believe that the porn I have viewed
would be a gateway to other porn like marijuana is not a gateway to other drugs
or that pepperoni pizza is a gateway to other pizzas. It just doesn't work like
that and I can say this with having nearly 35 years of porn under my belt.
My experience with porn started at an early age. I was
around nine when I would find my mom's boyfriends and her magazines around the
house such as Penthouse, Playboy, Gent, Juggs, Swank, Cheri and several others
sitting in the magazine rack in the bathroom or somewhere around the house.
Although I was really too young to understand intimacy I knew that I enjoyed
the images and I quickly knew what I liked and what I did not like. More than
two people in a scene did not appeal to me. Hands on the neck did not appeal to
me. Aggressive behavior did not appeal to me and none of these things appeal to
me presently. My experience with women has been all that I desired in intimacy
and I have never crossed a line into something I was uncomfortable doing even
though I have been asked. It doesn't appeal to me to be rough or abusive in any
nature; whether or not it is consensual or not. If it doesn't sit right with my
morality then I can't do it.
With all of that being said, does it still make sense to use
porn as an all encompassing word? It's unfair. Just like it is unfair to say
Marijuana is in the same category as Cocaine, Crack, Meth, Heroine, Percocet,
etc. or saying anchovies on a pizza is the same as pepperoni. Yuck!
My ex girlfriend would search my computer and find porn on
it then use the word porn as an all encompassing word to chastise me and then
use it as leverage to demean my character. She however would justify her
downloading of gay porn and her viewing of straight porn when she would compare
her vagina to porn starlets as research. She would ask why I would watch porn
when she herself was the perfect body type and I couldn't truthfully answer her
because it had nothing to do with her body. She and I had amazing intimacy but
then it would turn into her saying I only used her for sex which was far from
the case. She would get back together with me and say it is great to have a
friend with benefits then for about two weeks we would have amazing sex, then
she turned it against me and say we couldn't have sex anymore. That
relationship was complicated by mental illness and that illness liked to say I
used porn instead of her which would happen when she cut me off. I never did it
when she was in the house and when I did, it was not a porn marathon, it was
simply a means to an end. I wouldn't even download it to my computer unlike her
but yet because she played the victim it was OK if she did so herself.
My mother likes to condemn me for the use of porn because of
her own life choices which introduced me to the material in an unconventional
way. Most boys who begin their journey into porn would do so through their
Dad's playboy collection or perhaps a collection at the "Boys Only"
fort where friends would flip through pages and gawk at the women on the pages.
I was introduced by my Mother's own collection and that of her boyfriends. She
also would wear her Penthouse t-shirt "Perfect 10" and was one of the
first people to have breast augmentation surgery. She even made movies herself
and was involved in prostitution and yet she would say things to me like:
"If you look at porn you will become a rapist!" I guess my mom and
all her boyfriends were rapists!
Porn is defined as something whose primary purpose is to
cause sexual arousal. For myself this is pretty elementary and includes a
slender woman with large breasts who is clean and enjoys intimacy with one man.
The positions I like are missionary, from behind, and the mutually beneficial
sixty-nine. I am a courteous lover who gains a lot of pleasure by making my
lover orgasm before I have mine. It arouses me to make my partner happy and to
hear them enjoying what I am doing for them. That is what truly arouses me. It
is against my nature to want to hurt, humiliate, or demean them in anyway
whatsoever and for the few women I have made love to, this is verifiable. I do
not believe in promiscuity and have never been a person who has sought out a
one-night stand or instant gratification through a prostitute or at a club. I
enjoy making love.
To generalize porn and condemn men who look at it is not
giving them a chance to explain its purpose to them. For me porn is simple. I
usually go to online and find a beautiful busty woman who is being pleased
by an attractive yet normal looking male or I will just watch a beautiful woman
please herself. I am not aroused by the penetration shots that always exist but
unless I start making my own porn, I am left to what is there. I enjoy myself
and then I am done. Porn doesn't ridicule me, it doesn't break up with me or
play guilt trips, it doesn't cheat on me, and it doesn't cause me mental
anguish. In fact, it has taught me about love making. Ask any woman I have been
with my talents with cunnilingus and you would hear tales of multiple orgasms
and ecstasy. I am a giver in the bedroom. In fact, the only video I have ever
made has me performing oral sex on my lover 75% more than she performed on me.
Porn has not taught me to do anything that would be considered distasteful to
women and it has only enhanced my ability as a lover when that opportunity
presents itself.
Being that I am 43 years old and have had only a handful of
lovers (quality over quantity) I can say that it is absolutely not the horror
many make it out to be. But I don't deny that there are many personalities out
there that have illnesses with porn just as there are over eaters, drug
abusers, gambling addicts, alcoholics and the list goes on. Just because
someone looks at porn does not make them an addict, nor does it make them
"sick". I have a daughter who is very young and I would prefer to be
single for the rest of her childhood than be a serial dater bringing women in
and out of her life and for her to experience the instability that goes along
with multiple relationships which is what her mother is doing to her. I get
chastised for looking at porn but where is the voice speaking up about living
with several men in a 8 month period?
It makes no sense to me that people should be chastised for
something they do in the privacy of their own space and yet so many seriously
detrimental behaviors are exposed for the entire world to see on our
billboards, television and movies. Celebrities have used porn to enhance their
status, men have written books about their sexual conquests and women use their
bodies for material gain. In the military being unfaithful is a pastime for
both parties it seems and a half hazard morality exists in our Government. Women
write stories about their ex who was addicted to porn and men have been the
scapegoat for all when it comes to this subject. If I had the ability to just
make a pepperoni porn site I would but until I do that it is time that people
stop generalizing this word. It's not as bad as you make it out to be.
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